Bake Sale Over There!
by AlyssaLies28
Summary: Seshouamru, Kagome and a bake sale. Nothing out of the ordinary! But Kagome does have some pretty retarded friends. Now let's see how complicated a bake sale can be.
1. Chapter 1

Raja Tears: Man I feel good!

Ray: ME TOO!

Lamb: Why?

Ray: We went to that Bake Sale thing for Cotton Candy's Dad and volunteered.

Lamb: Was it that fun?

Raja Tears: It was Freakin' A! We got to yell at people for hours!

Ray: Yeah. Even Lay He was there!

Lamb: Now I wished I was there!

Raja Tears: Well I'm writing a story about what happened today. Only it's going to have Inuyasha characters in place of us. So...I own nothing. You know. Except for Ray on the weekends! Also this stuff just happened like three hours ago and if you live around Rackport then you most likely saw us being retarded. I'm changing some things though. So I got to say this was for a good friends, Cotton Candy, of ours father. His dad has medical problems and they have a lot of bills. So we helped with a benefit for CC's dad. So of coarse I have to make a stupid story about my CRAZY day! Hope you like!

Bake Sale Over There!

Chapter 1: We Need To Sing Something

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()**Author's POV.**()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

A Shelby Cobra '65 drove around the corner at 147 miles per hour, running the stop sign and zipping through a red light. A car swerved to avoid colliding with the fast moving car and slammed into the right side a semi. The Cobra just zoomed around another corner and disappeared, leaving a man crushed with in his car and a died child in the back seat. But no one cared about that because there was a bake sale benefit the women in the Cobra were late for!

The Cobra suddenly stopped in front of a pottery shop. The shop had little statue's in front of it and also two little stands. One of the stands had Cream cheese pies, Banana nut bread, brownies, and other goods on it. The other had BBQ pork, beans, chips, and drinks on it. The two doors of the doors of the Cobra and out stepped two girls. Both were short, each others cousins, 14, and had on hoodies. A boy around they age walked up to them calmly. He had silver hair that went to his waist and didn't show any emotions. At all.

"Ray, Lay He. You are both late and where are Kagome and Fatty? Were they not going to help with this benefit?" Sesshoumaru questioned with a growl at the mention of the girl named Ray. He really didn't like the way she would cling to him. Like she was doing now. Ray smiled up at Sesshoumaru. She looked more like his daughter then a crazed fan girl.

"Don't worry Sessho! They'll be here in a nano second with the speed they are going at." Ray stated with an intelligent gleam in her eyes. Oh wait! That was just the light reflecting off the retarded- ness she always had.

Muffled voices were heard. Then a bang sounded out. Sesshoumaru looked around to locate where the noise was coming from as the banging continued. He walked closer to the back end of the car. The noises becoming louder and louder. They abruptly stopped when he laid his hand on the handle of the tiny trunk. He glanced to the hood to see Lay He and Ray smiling at him. With a sigh he flung it open, knocking the girls from their perch. He peered in only to see nothing.

"That's strange. I could have sworn I heard something coming from in here." Pondered Sesshoumaru aloud. He began to lower the top down, but he saw something move in the shadowy space. He bent over to get a better look at what it was. A Willow Tree shot out of the confinement of the car, suddenly. The branches were going crazy everywhere. One of them reached out and stroked the side of his face. It then gently pushed his bangs to the side. At that point two fairly tall 14 year old girls jumped out from the top of the Willow Tree. They did a few laps around the automobile and came back to stand beside Ray and Lay He, who were now standing behind Sesshoumaru. The Willow Tree continued to play with Sesshoumaru's bangs. A thing that every girl and a lot of boys wanted to do.

"Not now Will!" Fatty whispered into a knot on the Willow Tree.

"Yeah! You might scare off Sesshy with your forwardness." said Lay He. She blushed a scarlet red and ran her hands along Kagome's legs. That skimpy skirt riding up slightly, yet never showing her shame.

"Be gone with you demon," Ray cried out to the Willow Tree, "Back to wince you came and leave MY man alone!" She pulled a crucifix and Holy water out of her back pocket. Holding up the cross with one hand she started to throw the Holy water on everyone and everything. The Willow Tree gave a mighty shudder and retreated back to the darkness of the tiny trunk. All the girls cheered at their great accomplishment. A pain filled scream pierced their celebration. They turned to see Sesshoumaru rolling around on the ground. Smoke coming off his skin.

"HEY! SMOKING KILLED MY MOTHER AND RAPED MY FATHER!" Kagome lied. Fake tears began their way down her cheeks.

"See I told you Sesshy would begin to act stupid with us." Lay He told Fatty. Ray walked closer to Sesshoumaru and pulled out five metal sticks from her back pocket. She then pulled out a big pack of hot dogs and put one on each of the sticks. She held the hot dogs on the stick above the now passed out form of Sesshoumaru.

"I wonder why Sesshy was screaming." Fatty wondered.

"It's because Sesshoumaru is a demon and Ray threw Holy water on him." stated Lay He. She took a bite out of the hot dog Ray handed to her. She looked up to see everyone staring at her.

"How did YOU know that?" Kagome asked. Lay He reached over to Ray and pulled a thick packet of papers out. She flicked through it until she reached the last page.

"It says so in the script that we were supposed to read and follow, but none of us did." Lay He answered while pointing at the print on the page.

"Oh! What were we supposed to do then? Sing at a bake sale!" Everyone laughed at the joke that Ray made. Even Sesshoumaru, who had awoken from his pain induced sleep, had laughed. Only one didn't. Lay He was hunched over the scripted reading it. She must've had a headache since she couldn't read. That dumb brode!

"Ummmm...actually we were." At this everyone stared at Lay He. She wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. To be right twice was a miracle! TWICE!

"Where are we going to find a bake sale?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Wait! I think we're at one!" Yelled Fatty. Suddenly everyone remembered why they were there.

"Okay. We'll go hold up signs and get people to come here and you give out the food and take the money." Ray ordered Sesshoumaru. It was like going to the future of love. The girls walked over to this HUGE pole by a three way intersection and stood.

"What now?" Come from Lay He.

"We need some signs of coarse!" Kagome exclaimed.

"Were are we going to get those?" Ray pondered with a stupidity of a beaver. Fatty reached into Ray's back pocket and pulled out four poster papers and a marker. No one really questioned how she fit all that in her back pocket or why the stuff was there.

"How did you get all that in your pocket? Why would you even want to?" questioned Jaken, but he wasn't really anyone so the girls ignored him and wrote BAKE $ALE on all of the posters. Jaken just shriveled up and died. They stood with their newly finished posters and started to wave them at people. That got boring fast. This is when it started to get stupid in here. Oh wait! Ray was there the entire time!

"We need to sing a song!" Kagome said out of complete boredom.

"Oh? Like what?" asked an equally bored Ray. Lay He smiled and started to sing.

"When you walk away" The rest joined in now. "You don't hear me say. Please, oh baby. Don't go. Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight. It's hard to let you go."

Fatty stuck out her leg in the street and pulled up her pants to her thigh. Hair spilled out the wa-zoos and covered the ground. Lay He screamed in a husky manly way as she started to sink into Fatty's ferociously unshaven leg hairs. Kagome jumped into action and pulled out two weed wackers from Ray's back pocket. She handed the other to Ray. Together they wacked at the coarse hairs. The hairs gave out a high pitched shrill while it retreated back into the safe haven of Fatty's baggy black pants.

"We could sing Acuna Matata."Lay He suggested. They started to sing this while skipping around waving sighs at people who drove by. At least they killed the first 20 minutes of the long. Long. Benefit.

Lamb: That's what happen! Man I wished I was there!

Ray: To the letter.

Raja Tears: Well, we sang those songs and danced in the streets with the signs.

Ray: Yeah that's about all that's true.

Lamb: -Rolls eyes- Tard-o's. So is this the real story or did you have to retype it?

Raja Tears: Well my WordPerfect didn't unfreeze itself while I was at the drive- in, so I had to exit out of it. Luckily it somehow had a back up save on it.

Ray: I thought you didn't save it.

Raja Tears: I didn't, but my computer is weird like that. Any way. I think that was a good story! So read and review. Send Flamers if you want, cause I need a good laugh. Flamers are just so funny.


	2. She Thinks You're HOT!

Raja Tears: Welcome! So yeah. This is my package.

Lamb: God delivered.

Ray: I signed.

All three: -Crack up laugh-

Lamb: Man it's Sunday.

Ray: Yeah we haven't see each other for days. Nothing stupid has happened.

Raja Tears: That's why I'm typing this story as a distraction! So I own nothing, am retarded, and need a plot so I can make a new story. That's about it!

Lamb: Got any thing else you want to say?

Raja Tears: -Smiles- I LOVE YAOI!

Bake Sale Over There!

Chapter 2: She Thinks You're HOT!

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()**AUTHOR'S POV.**()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Inuyasha looked down at the grave of his mother in remorse. Hurt, sadness, and un- belonging shining in his dulled golden eyes. Miroku walked up to him and wrapped his arms around Inuyasha's slender waist.

"How are you feeling my Inu- baby?" Miroku whispered into his silver headed lover's cute dog ears. Inuyasha turned in Miroku's embrace and borrowed his head into his clothed chest. After a few tense moments Inuyasha shifted so he could look up at the love of his life.

"I still miss her. Even though it's been 6 months, but...I think... I'll make it though... with you...by my side." With each pause in his speech Inuyasha leaned up until their lips connected in a kiss. They stood there together as one. Their souls linking to each other through the love they shared for one another. Nothing else mattered except. All the time in the world could have passed during that kiss and they would have never have regretted it. Slowly they pulled apart and walked off. Hands entwined. They jumped into a blood red Viper that had a dark purple strip going down the middle. Miroku started the car and rived the engine. He pulled out of the small old cemetery and drove off down the road. Less than a minute later he reached a three way intersection. Chaos was everywhere.

"Who the hell are those girls?" Inuyasha questioned to no one really while he looked at the women out his window. Miroku shrugged his shoulder. The light turned red and he drive off again. Passing the girls shaking signs at him. 'A bake sale? That's odd.' He thought, but kept driving anyway.

"She thinks you're HOT!" Was heard from behind him. Inuyasha and Miroku glanced in the review mirror to see who yelled that at them. There were four girls at the bake sale. Two short and two fairly tall. They were pointing to a fifth girl. A hot fifth girl with long silver hair and the sexiest bangs ever. 'So that hot stuff thinks I'm hot. Well, she has a right to think that.' With that Miroku hit the brakes. This caused Inuyasha, who hadn't been wearing a seat belt, to go slamming into the windshield.

"MIROKU! What the hell are we stopped for? Oh no! We are NOT going to see that girl back there. No way," huffed Inuyasha.

"Please, Inu-baby? It's the silver hair. I think I have a fetish," Miroku confessed a highly disturbing fact that some how turned Inuyasha on.

"Well if you put it that way. LET'S GO!" So Miroku did a quick U-turn and was speeding off to the frightened girls. They parked the car in the packing lot of the pottery shop and jumped out. With smirks plastered on their faces they walked up to the girls. It was then that they noticed that the silver headed girl was about three inches taller then Miroku and five inches taller then Inuyasha. (I believe that Sesshy should always be the seme and Inuyasha always the uke. Miroku can be both cause he's a player. Ya see. I got it all worked out in my CRAZY mind. Now back to the story!) That didn't dampen their spirits of getting laid though.

"Hey there hot lips. How's it going?" Miroku asked in a deep husky voice. Inuyasha coped a feel while the girl was being occupied with Miroku's seductive speech. Miroku had to be good if he was able to keep Inuyasha this long. Suddenly the other four girls started to giggle to one another. The silver headed female just ducked her head with a blush staining her smooth pale skin. Inuyasha and Miroku shared a confused glance.

"What's so funny? Never seen some guys try to get laid?" asked an annoyed half demon.

"Well, yes we have," said Lay He with a grin. Everyone looked to Kagome at that moment. She smiled innocently.

"Can't a girl be a whore and not be touched?" Kagome challenged with a heated glare. No one answered her stupid question and turned back to what they were talking about.

"Please, tell us what was so funny earlier." Miroku gently persuaded. Ray stepped up. She looked at Miroku then Inuyasha then back to Miroku.

"They like to touch each other, but they both want to touch another. Together." Explained Ray after analyzing the two. Miroku and Inuyasha stood with slacked jaws ans wide eyes. They looked at each other. The silver headed girl started to speak.

"Little brother, is this true? Do you want to touch me? Both of you?" asked the girl who is really Sesshoumaru in a drag outfit consisting of tiny leather short shorts and a maroon tube top that matched the stripes on his face, wrists, ankles, and stomach. Inuyasha and Miroku stood in shock. I mean who wouldn't when they saw their brother in drag and looking HOT! Miroku was just shocked cause I said he was. At once all three ran forward and locked into a tight hug. Off to the side, Lay He and Fatty watching the hot action of yaoi incest. They were stuffing their HUGE bodies with buttery popcorn and soda. Ray was vomiting the contents of her stomach over all the poor people who were driving by and Kagome was selling her body to any man who would want to brave the journey of STD's. Unexpectedly Fatty's Cobra started to shack violently. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at the frisky car. The car exploded and in its place stood a giant Willow Tree. One of the branches came and stood next to Miroku. The branch was wearing the exact same thing Miroku was down to the earrings. Everyone backed away from the identical Miroku twins.

"I-I can't tell which is the real Miroku," stuttered Inuyasha.

"We should ask a question only the true Miroku would know," Sesshoumaru told Fatty. She nodded and thought for a moment. She started to have a headache with pictures. An idea! 'So that's what it's called.' Fatty thought. She lunged in front of the two Mirokus with the question in mind. Well her mind was filled at the moment so it was floating around her head like a electron.

"Miroku. What is the last thing I would ever give Kagome?" This was directed at the real Miroku. He started to panic and shouted out the first thing he thought of.

"A lap dance!" came from Miroku

"Oh! So sorry! The answer was the antidote!" Fatty exclaimed. She got out a gun and killed Miroku. His body turned to ash and blew away like dust in the wind.

"Ummm...Fatty? What antido-" Kagome was cut off when she fell to the ground, dead. She wasn't really dead though. She was in a deep sleep filled with incest yaoi and beer!

"I knew you were the real Miroku!" Inuyasha shouted as he and Sesshoumaru ran up to the Willow Tree branch and hugged it. The Willow Tree gave a mighty shudder of glee and started to play with Inuyasha's ears and Sesshoumaru's bangs. Ray, Lay He, and Fatty smiled and went back to telling people Kagome thought they were hot. They picked up Kagome's limp body and tied it to the HUGE pole. Many people came and body some baked goods, but also came to watch the hot action of the two brothers and the frisky Willow Tree.

Ray: Well, that was...

Lamb: Interesting.

Ray: ...yeah.

Raja Tears: You know what's ironic?

Lamb & Ray: That you were sick today? (It's Monday now)

Raja Tears: NO! That I write Humor, yet I hate to read it. I like angst, but I can't write it.

Lamb: Well **_I_** can write angst!

Ray: Well I can write straight parings!

Raja Tears: Well I'M going to turn to a yaoi story to Mrs. Lair!

All: OoO

Raja Tears: READ AN REVIEW PLEASE!


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